Nothing can be true now than the saying that ‘a second can spoil the work of lengthy hours’. Nothing is equally more devastating than witnessing a single mistake ruining decades of hard work when we consider the current storm rocking the American political scene and her prize assert, democracy. It is no news that America democracy is under threat from within courtesy of the presidency of Mr. Donald Trump.

We are equally aware that all eyes from around the global are riveted on America this moment considering her sterling role in world affairs that has been drastically scaled down by the administration of Mr. Trump, an extra conservative ideologist whose administrative style has presented to American think-tanks a sort of paranormal phenomenon as he had so intentionally isolated America from the world stage and went about upturning the gains of democracy America has made for over two centuries.

For just three and a half years, America democracy has undergone serious tests and trials under Trump. Her adherence to the rule of law has been tested and tried; her constitutional obligations to the people have been tested and tried; her jealously guarded independence of the judiciary has been so severely tested and tried and almost every democratic norm that made America democracy stand out from the rest of the world has been put under strenuous test and trial by the advent of Trump’s novel conservative ideology of “America First”.

As an exporter of her democratic ware for decades to other part of the world, not least, Africa, the shaking of American democratic institutions by the Trump presidency has had to teach the beneficiaries of democracy some hard lessons. America’s influence on the world, especially in developing countries in Central America, South Asia and Africa, the apparent tipping point of her democracy isn’t lost on these regions. It is important to quickly note that changes can occur within a twinkle of an eye. It took only three years for America to lose her hard earned influence in most part of the world as her values of promoting democracy and opposing ‘Strong man rule’ in democratically fragile nations of the world are tumbling fast.

For instance, whatever influence or deterrent America once had over countries like North Korea, Iran, Russia, Venezuela, Turkey, China, Philippines, Syria, Libya, North and South Sudan, Mali and many countries now in the hands of rogue leaders is waning if not totally expired as a result of the reversal of democratic norms and values in America. Autocrats and tyrants, put under America pressure to democratize their countries are now let lose to entrench undemocratic rule without any checks, restraints, political or economic consequences.

Africa, a most dependent continent on help and aid from western nations to build her economic institutions for rapid and badly needed development should by now have learnt valuable lessons,  from the democratic unbundling that is ongoing in America and prepare to reinvent itself, become self dependent and minimize our dependency on foreign help to develop critical infrastructure that will drive the continent’s economic prosperity and spur inward focus by the teeming youthful populations whose chief ambition is to migrate from the continent to find opportunities in Europe and America. The world has reached the point where its famous ‘global village’ image will be shredded for an individualistic world where every region and country will look inward for their growth and prosperity. The spite of racism, hatred and nationalism is evident all over the world and it calls for a tightening of Africa’s belt to be self-dependent.

Africa must learn that for America democracy to be so threatened by a group of people led by Trump, for a little over three years, then democracy is not safe anywhere and the end of his administration do not necessary mean restoration of democracy as we know it in America. It is only the careful cultivation of democracy and its accompanying values in the world that has instituted liberalism, rights and freedoms of any kind, whether political, economic or personal, and once the cover of democracy is lifted the world would be thrown back into the Dark Age where the language recognized in settling dispute is war and not diplomacy.

Africa must begin now to build her own strong democratic institutions that can stand the test of time in spite of the wind of change that might blow against it and not wait to be reminded to do so by a tottering West. Except for the solid foundations American democratic institutions are built on, this past three years, the country’s political and economic foundations could have been shaken to their roots.

If we look carefully, We did notice that once Europe began to be unwilling to aid Africa for the reasons that her aid to the continent is looted and misappropriated by her leaders ending up in European and American banks, and America long ago either cut or out rightly withdrew her generosity, Africa countries began shamefully turning to China, and the communist nation saw opportunity to continue the exploitation of the continent more than a century after European exploitation owing to the obvious truth that Africa has failed to self-develop and reinvent itself despite the huge amount of mineral resources in the continent.

The natural resource rich continent should know China’s eye is on the raw materials abundant in the continent which it now exploit to develop her economic juggernaut while throwing a few billions in the face of Africa’s greedy and corrupt leaders who are content to fold their hands while they think China is helping our development when in truth this undemocratic East Asian country is exploiting Africa in broad day light. Trump’s ascendancy on the United States politics and onward to the presidency is an eye opener for all, a lesson the entire world is learning, I think a must for Africa and her people that this should not be lost on us as a continent and as a people. The fallout from America’s extant experience with democracy is to Africa a warning and an opportunity.

As a dire warning, it tells us that nothing lasts forever; if two hundred and forty-four years of democracy can be shaken to its root within a space of three and half years, then nothing is safe and Africa’s leaders must learn that. To take the opportunity it offers, Africa must begin to tell the world through an innovative approach to governance her readiness to take the bull by the horn in infrastructural development for economic emancipation and liberation from European, American and Chinese bondage once and for all so that whatever happens in those nations Africa shall ever be independent and for real.

Source: Richard Abam

Sunmbo Ajaba Adeoye has advised women to refuse to be concubines to men, rather they should aspire to be “an honorable wife”.

She shared the advice on Instagram, writing: “Don’t choose to be on the list of concubines when there are honorable men who can put you on the list as an honorable wife. “

She added: “God is not an author of confusion. He won’t give you another woman’s husband. Don’t choose to be on the list of concubines when there are honorable men who can put you on the list as an honorable wife.”

Sunmbo is married to Pastor David Adeoye. They have two kids together. She also shares two kids with Tuface Idibia.

Source: Twitter@Sunmbo

PR Expert Peter Osamgbi while addressing the NDDC Saga on Galaxy Television, says, There is No president in Aso Rock.

In a video monitored by Odince News, Mr Peter said that the NDDC cannot loot money or do Magic if Nigeria Had a President.

Recall that Acting Managing Director of NDDC slumped during interrogation at the Probe Panel.

Peter Osamgbi Reacts, “As we speak, there is No President and Commander in chief in this Country, forget the Fellow citizen in Aso Rock, If we had a president, the president will issue a directive, If we had a president, this people won’t be doing this.”

He added that they can’t do this under Obasanjo or Goodluck Jonanthan because they know there is someone in Aso Rock.

He continued, “The President in Aso Rock appears unaware, appears aloof, appears incompetent, appears uninterested in what is going on, He has No knowledge, he doesn’t know how to go about it, and that is why Ministers are disagreeing among themselves, there is No co -ordination.

During the Interview, the Presenter ask if what the president is doing is intentional or some people in Aso Rock are keeping the president in the Dark on what is going on in the country.

Mr Peter Replied stating that there is no way you can hide anything from the president, He used Babangida and Obasanjo Example adding that Buhari Read Newspapers even if Aso Rock is like another world, If there is a president, he would take action.

“They Know that the Man is Incapacitated, they know that the man is incompetent. He added.

Source: GalaxyTV

In the present of our times, a lot of us struggle with the status of being single while a lot too suffer from the side incidences of being in a dramatic relationship. This goes a long way in having lots overviews and discernment about dating and relationships. Have you ever wondered why your friends have found the ‘one’ but you’re still strolling and wandering through dating sites or doing a ‘jump and pass mode of dating’ and contemplating on going on a date again? If you found yourself in this situation of love life why not ask the question “what is the purpose of dating?”

There are copious reasons why we choose to date a fellow; some of us may want to date because they want to experience the fun and not stay in the house frequently, some of us may date because they want to meet and experience new people, while some of us may date because they want a life lasting companionship. But the good and bizarre news is that we are dating without purpose if we made up our minds to date for the first two reasons. The purpose of dating and one of the most important things to do in life is to find someone you are happy to stay with and have a life long partnership.

Dating without purpose is like a blind bird with wings flying around with no visible destination, and as well as getting a car and driving randomly without having a destination, hoping to drive to somewhere that you will find happiness, chances are that you’d probably get lost, frustrated or disappointed. If you don’t have a map or a landing point, then you won’t get there.

Dating without purpose can lead to a lot of imbalances in emotion and the body while dating with purpose is essential if you find someone with to create something beautiful out of a relationship. This can go a long way to having a soothing though challenging healthy relationships out there.

I have come in contact with some friends who replied to the question with “if the guy can provide all her needs financially, they are good to go”, “if the guy would shower them with care and respect, they are good to go” but have you as a lady asked yourself the ‘why’ in wanting to be with this person? This answer is what could be a stepping stone to having a purposeful healthy relationship and not what the person can provide. If you have ever thought of dating, you need to prepare like someone who attends an interview or an exam, you need to ask yourself the questions, what do you want to achieve, and plan and prepare yourself for the task ahead. This may definitely not be easy as it would take effort, discipline and the lessons of others. It is definitely going to be worth the effort.

Dating with purpose could all lie in self decision on what you want and whilst making a decision, there are some certain things that need to be considered in achieving a purpose in relationships even if you’re in the relationship already.

1. Ready to be in a relationship: Both parties need to want to be in a relationship and are willing to let go of any past relationship trauma, affairs, affections or afflictions. Because these feelings can easily be triggered when you don’t shove them down the pile and can obstruct the intended purpose of your dating.

2. Honesty and Trust: This is the basic root of a relationship. As a potential partner, trusting yourself first is key to understanding your relationship. Feel free to discuss any past relationship stigma or childhood experiences with your partner, in that way, you need to gain the trustworthiness of your partner even though transparency and building trust takes time.

3. Be willing to tolerate: Some drama that occurs in relationships, with little tolerance and compromise, the parties would definitely be happy ever after. For a relationship to grow, you must be willing to negotiate and compromise to the flaws of your partner otherwise little things may deprive your purpose. You need to be prepared to understand, adapt and negotiate solutions to the challenges that arise together within.

4. Self Awareness: For relationships to grow, you need to keep reminding yourself of who you are and what you need in that relationship. For example, agreeing to no sex before marriage and other decisions, self awareness comes in place. Without this, the purpose of relationships may be tarnished.

5. Recognition of Family Origin History: For relationships to work and have a purpose, both parties need to be aware that childhood memories could be triggered. If there are family rituals or obligation that need to be done when these wounds and memories are triggered, both parties need to negotiate and re-strategize new rituals which would deem fit for them as couple to have as to have a long lasting partnership..

6. Sexual Compatibility: We might have had past sex romps or experiences, but both parties need to understand to not expect their partner to be as sexually active or flirty or otherwise as they are. You need to develop your own relationship sexual inclinations and preferences to attain compatibility of both the physical and satisfaction.

7. Values: Ranging from religion, finance, life, health, education, parenting, travel and the rest. To minimize conflicts in relationships, both parties need attain compatibility in these areas of life. Knowing, understanding and tolerating your partner’s way of life and thought is key to having a purpose in relationships.

8. State of Boredom: Relationships are usually tasty and enjoyable at first but remember there are ordinary days of boredom when things and the partners seem to be boring. Don’t expect relationships to always sweet and entertaining. You must learn how to accept and still try to find some spices to add up otherwise you may feel the relationship is not working out which can lead to looking elsewhere.

9. Influence, not Control: A lot relationship these days go through a dilemma because of the force and measures of control empowered by either of the partners to each other. These forms of control may seem uncomfortable and can cause deteriorating situations. Instead of enforcing control towards your partner, rather be a role model and influence. Accept your partner the way they are and don’t be a nagging controller to enforce a change on your partner’s lifestyle.

10. Boundaries: In relationships, you need to learn to know your personal boundaries, keep your independence, this will help to not losing and neglecting yourself even when allowing your partner in. A healthy relationship is one which you let your partner in and still have space for yourself.

11. The glow fades away: As the relationship progresses, the feelings and the joy gotten from the beginning fade away. Devotion, initial commitment and re-assurance is what can make a relationship healthy and moving at this point. Love to me is an action word. There are days when you feel extreme love towards your partner and there are days when life is getting its best shots at you which when you would feel that love is generally lost. At these trying times, it is those initial commitment and devotion to each that will keep up the spice in the relationship.

12. Quality Time: Even though we create our personal space, going out to make ends meet and the rest of the personal schedules, we need to set aside schedules to spend that quality time with our partner. This is also a spice to long lasting relationships.

13. Take the Exit Card: Although we’d want to or try for our relationship to last a life time, it is also important to know when to dust your ass and leave the present relationship. This means having tried hard to make this relationship work to what you want. Be willing to let go of this relationship especially when you’re experiencing abuse, neglect or unhealthy behavior. Feel free to be courageous and leave. There are usually better days ahead.

14. Compatibility: Although relationships are not perfect, this compatibility can be attained by tolerating your partner’s differences. A compatible relationship could stand the test of time.

15. Respect and Admiration: In relationships, we tend to find someone who we can admire and respect. This admiration is more than just a skin or beauty admiration, of course there are times when you don’t find your partner looking good or attractive to you but admiring and accepting the whole person of your partner is key to long lasting relationships.

16. Expectations: Before beginning a relationship, there are realistic expectations to have which you can discuss with your partner about what you expect him or her to do for you. Don’t expect your partner or the relationship to fix a scar or need in your life. You need to first love yourself before expecting to be loved.

17. Reciprocity: They say respect is reciprocal, in relationships, not just respect, love needs to be reciprocated too. You don’t expect your relationship to last long if the love and respect is one sided. Always get through pass your schedule to make your partner smile and feel loved.

18. Communication: A lot of people develop deep connection with their partners through communication. Communicate, discus your needs and wants, fight and settle, describe your feelings, learn to not beat around the bush with your partner, listen and give your partner a voice too.

19. Self Esteem: In looking for relationships, self worth is an essential ingredient to look for in a partner, and as well as make sure you do too. Being in a relationship because it makes you feel happy may one day deter your self worth at the cost of the relationship. Self esteem also means both partners feeling good about who they are in or without the relationship.

20. Patience: Even though some people are naturally patient and some are not. You need to learn to be patient with your lifestyle even before committing to a relationship. For a relationship to work out, one need to learn patience in tolerating even the smallest of things. However it is unnecessary to tolerate for long an abuse or unhealthy behavior. At this stage, it is time to dust your ass and move. Domestic violence can never be tolerated because it kills slowly within. When you experience such, seek for help.

With all these, I believe you don’t just sit and look at the materials things of a relationship before committing. Always look beyond the material things your partner can offer and seek for things to determine a long lasting partnership. It all initially starts with you, your decision and self worth. Before you get committed, it is usually advisable to have and develop a sense of self worth.

Good luck as you find love and joy at last as well those seeking for a life lasting relationship.

Stay tuned for more spices on sex, love and life.

Source: SkippersMediaTV

David Oyedepo took to Twitter to state that anyone who doesn’t pay tithe is “under a financial curse” and can never prosper and this has led to an argument.

The founder of Winners’ Chapel International tweeted: “Tithing is an inescapable covenant obligation. Prosperity not just wealth is impossible without tithing, because when you’re not paying your tithe, you’re under a financial curse. #Tithe #Breakinglimits.”

A PhD candidate at Edinburgh University disagreed with Oyedepo, writing: “Tithing cannot create wealth! Wealth creation occurs when you deploy capital to create value. When X gives 1/10 of his earnings to your church, there’s no production or investment, thus he has not created value, but only enriched you. Tithing is a church sponsored ponzi scheme..”

Twitter users have now taken sides, some with Oyedepo and others with the PhD candidate.

See below.

Source: Twitter

For any Nigerian, living at home or abroad, and above sixteen years, there is little doubt that they are unaware of Nigeria’s badly tarnished image abroad, shredded in tatters, caused Nigerians untold hardships, treated with disrespect and regarded with contempt wherever they are found in the world. The tag of being a Nigeria carries a high price the moment you leave the shores of Nigeria and we wear this tag like the mark on the body of branded slaves without shame.

You need not cross the Atlantic, within the continent the name Nigeria, or the phrase ‘I am a Nigerian’ immediately makes you a branded person, a persona non grata and Nigerians are treated such with disdain, mocked and told point blank ‘to go back to your country’. Visit South Africa, Angola, Libya, Morocco, Gabon, Guinea Bissau, Cameroun or to go closer home Ghana, Cote Ivories, or Liberia Nigerians are not wanted for no other reason than the exhibition of a highly criminal attitude, an attitude that has brought on us a bad name and an unimaginable disregard within the continent and the larger world.

No people are as hardworking as Nigerians; no people are as creative and skillful as Nigerians, no people so intelligent, innovative, friendly, business minded, impulsive travelers, yet this high above credentials possessed by this people have been soil by a negative bent to criminality, a disturbing fraudulent walk of life to get rich quick. Rather than channel such creative energies to positive outcomes majority of Nigerians instead choose to deploy their skills to criminal acts. Rather than employ their innovative skills to self development it is sadly poured into fraudulent practices instead. Rather than use their enterprising nature to create and seize presented opportunities they have chosen to bypass such opportunities and embrace vanities.

It is therefore, not new and never any surprise when we hear of the harsh treatment Nigerians are subjected to around the world whether at the airports or inside the mainland’s of these countries, especially, in Europe, America and Asia. We hear of the execution of Nigerians in Asian countries for drug related offences, for those serving lengthy jail terms in various European, American and Asian prisons for fraudulent schemes. Nigeria’s image is dented abroad by and not limited to money laundry, drug peddling, banking and credit card fraud, websites and financial database hacking, impersonation etc.

Just the other day on a news webpage were lined pictures of young and vibrant Nigerians executed for drug-related offenses in various Asian countries especially in Muslim nations and the writer did that intentionally to serve as a warning to intending young Nigerians dreaming of a life above their means reminding the readers about the sudden end of these young Nigerians who set out of their countries for the wrong reasons and ended badly. The pictures of such young country men of mine evoked not a small amount of sympathy from my bowels, how that they have just wasted their lives, caused their families’ unbearable grief and the nation a bad name because they must get rich by all means.

The denting of Nigeria’s image abroad did not start today neither did it start with the generation of young men now callously dragging the already muddied name further into the mud at the cost of their lives. The countries image has long been tarnished abroad long before the young men and women of today were born. The dishonest and disloyal treatment meted out to Nigeria by Nigerians was started by Nigeria’s leaders, the political class right from the moment she was declared an independent nation.

Nigeria’s political class, the elite were the first Nigerians to show dishonesty and dishonor their solemn pledge to uphold the honor and glory of the new independent nation. With their new found privilege, relinquished by the departing colonialist, these elites engaged in moral vanities, ethnic jingoism, religious fanaticism, nepotism, and an unintelligent class of corruption that has today metamorphosed into the highest class of corruption in the country. They created shortly a Nigeria of class categories, the rich from the not so rich and the very poor through unchecked corruption and theft of the national treasury, made politics a lucrative venture rather than a service rendering profession that has attracted to its fold diverse elements with characteristics that border on the sociopathic and the unintelligently visionless.

 The children will always take over from their fathers and that is true, not after various Nigerian politicians have been covertly or overtly fingered in drug trafficking rings, rumoured to have been to jail and back and some fighting extraditions to answer to their accusations abroad. Today’s ugly incidents of Nigerian citizens been arrested for one criminal offence or another is a product of faulty foundations laid by Nigeria’s leaders for over five decades and we all are reaping the rotten fruits of their labor; the labor to amass personal wealth while the country they pledge to serve honestly and honorably bleed to death.

We cannot as a nation continue to live in self denial that Nigeria’s international image is damage, rotten and needs redemption. The current Nigerian President, Mohammadu Buhari, on his first trip abroad on resuming office was unequivocal in his honest admittance of the bitter truth that our image abroad is poor and nothing to write home about. Back home, vituperative anger trial the president’s comments with many accusing him of disloyalty to the country and some simply saying he is a dunce who does not understand international diplomacy and politics. But it was laughable because the president was blunt and very honest to the point it angered the vine spoilers, the fathers of drug peddlers, 419er’s, fraudsters and cybercrime generals.

Yes, it is true, whether we deny it till Christ come, this Nigeria we all call our country has a dirty stinking image abroad and this image stinks so bad that you need only to step out to Ghana or South Africa to witness the backlash, the anger, the rejection that Nigerians face daily in the black continent, inside sister nations and you will imagine what happens to Nigerians in Europe, America, India, China, Saudi Arabia, Libya, Morocco and just about any place on the globe. Nigerians are harassed right from the airports were they are separated from the rest and attended meticulously and once inside the country they are monitored even as students from their movements, relationships studies or jobs right down to their financial transactions and that is the image we have created for us speaking. Any denial of sorts is to continue to create more problems, mislead our young men and blacken the image further.

Trending the media scene currently is the episode featuring a certain Nigerian and his accomplices by name Ramon Igalode alias Hushpuppi, Olalekan Ponle alias Woodberry and ten members of his gang as the UAE police ended their jolly ride with other people’s sweat in the wealthy emirate for cybercrime spanning several years involving a large score of victims and running into millions of US Dollars. And you wouldn’t imagine that such individual with a tall ego and a flamboyant lifestyle is but a criminal whose day has come as it has come for those in jails or dead and still will come for the rest whose time has not yet come that has made the lives of innocent Nigerians miserable around the world.

Mrs. Abike Dabiri-Erewa President Buhari’s appointed Chairman of Nigerians in Diaspora Commission was outraged like many government officials have been in the past by the unrelenting damage done to the country’s image abroad and its negative effects on the country. She was quoted as saying that the suspect Hushpuppi was all the while a criminal who flaunted his wealth without shame.  In her words “committing a crime and still having the audacity to show off like Ramon Igalode did. This is really denting our image as a people. But like I always say, fraud does not represent who we are as Nigerians; hardworking, dedication and commitment is what we, as a country is known for.”

Quite true, such are Nigerians, populated with the good more than the bad eggs, but with the few bad living large, approximately holding three quarters of the wealth in the country and eating up the life of the good ones, not because they are smarter, intelligent or brighter than the rest, but because they are criminals, depraved, shameless Nigerians who drag Nigeria’s name down the gutter to line their pockets with hard currency and show off in Nigeria’s streets. You can just now think of the so-called Hushpuppi and his gang, until he was arrested in Dubai you wouldn’t know he was that vile and unintelligent. What of Obinwanne Okeke, the fraudster referred to as ‘business mogul’ associated with Invictus firm who all the while disguised as a young entrepreneur but actually a big time fraudster waiting jail term in the US. Babalola Falemi alias Sauce Kid jailed for credit card fraud and the one Margaret Oladipupo jailed for money laundry and many others rotting in various jails across the globe.

It seems that Nigerians, known for easily adapting to adverse situations have quickly taken the dented image of their country abroad in their strides and moved on. After all, they say, the image is also dented within. This attitude is shown in that despite the harsh treatment and the contempt poured on Nigerians, we endure it all and still mill at the airports, land and sea routes to make it out of the country to those very lands we are not wanted. Government officials have decried the ugly trend in the past and like the Diaspora Commission head did, but that will not change anything until and unless every Nigerian, government and citizens join hands together to build and develop our country the Hushpuppi types will continue to spring out from ourselves and Nigeria’s name will sink further in the mire of international diplomacy and so will Nigerians be treated differently from the rest of the world.

The Nigerian name is now so bearish, it wasn’t over two months ago when the America FBI swoop down on six Nigerians for fraud related crimes and now Hushpuppi and his gang ringing up the Nigerian discredited name  once again bringing up the Nigerian thing, a thing of sorrow, of indignity and sadness in the heart for well-meaning Nigerians in those climes who are hardworking, dedicated and committed to giving back to those countries for welcoming them only to hear whispers of ‘beware, he or she is a Nigerian’ in their work places or neighborhoods. No Nigerian is trusted anymore even those who by marriage are entitled to some airs are having such privileges limited and are monitored by their spouses and authorities.

What a country! Don’t forget, these are the results of yesterday’s planting, because you can only reap what your sow Nigeria is reaping what she rightly sown decades past. The unfaithfulness, lies, deceits, disloyalty, thorns and nettles sowed by her leaders and in some measure the citizens who are followers, is what she is reaping. Like the political and socioeconomic life of the country, Nigeria’s soil image can be redeemed. Nigeria can begin to undo the things that were done wrong. We can begin to have the right leadership, the right education for all, the right equal wealth distribution programme, play the right politics and begin the total integration for overall unity and progress of the country.

We can do this if we are intentional and are determine because only doing the right things can right the country’s image abroad, keep our people home when they know than get equal opportunity at home to develop themselves, enjoy some decency and a healthy environment without which more Hushpuppi’s are warming up and the country’s dipped image would never look up, only down.

Source: Richard Abam

Many of us have this notion that there’s someone out there who would perfectly complete us. You know that idea that they’ll fill the void in your life and all. And then begins the wild goose chase for the perfect love story. Well, I am not trying to burst your bubble or anything but you actually could be at this for rest of your life.

I have learnt a few lessons as time has had its way with my life and have found out a few things about this love “bug”. For one it needs to (like in a software update) be fixed. The reason is simple, many relationships have crashed and many more will because of it. All the tall, handsome, rich, busty, fair skinned… standards are just unrealistic. Honestly, no one is the perfect “physical package” and everyone has a flaw and the sooner we accept that the better. Now, the question will be, what exactly should I look out for in a relationship? Well, I will try to answer that in the next few paragraphs. And note that these are in no particular order and are simply some of the major ones. So here goes nothing….

Look for Real… Half the time people are out there trying to act the part and fit into the equation as it is. While this may sometimes seem like the right thing to do in order to get what you want but it leads down the road to butt licking, hypocrisy, deception and the works. You don’t want to live with all of that I assure you. So, when thinking of finding a partner, look for someone who is honest, first with themselves about who they are and with others. That way you have an idea of exactly what you’re getting into. Trust me people pretend a lot but one tiny secret is to look at the little details. The answers to the random and unexpected questions, the choices when it doesn’t count for much and their perspective to everyday issues. Therein lies the true person. We are too keen on checking out the major stuff but you should remember that major decisions go through loads of planning and you can still be fooled in that process. And please actions and not words should be the basis of your judgement.

Self love… Yeah, you heard that right. It goes without saying that if you don’t love yourself, loving someone else is impossible. Except of course it’s all part of a game to you. If you are going to care for someone else, you have to care for yourself first. You must be able to forgive, be kind to and respect yourself before you can channel all of these towards other people. Love your neighbor as yourself basically means you come first. If they buy everything for you and don’t have anything for themselves, that isn’t love, it’s something really dangerous… obsession. So look out for people who love themselves and will take care of their needs too.

Love for others… How your partner treats other people is just as important as how they treat you. We tend to think that as long as they treat “me” right it’s fine but the truth is someday when they’re going through a hard time or they are tired of that relationship, you will be at the receiving end of that exact treatment. How people treat those they have no attachment to is a pointer to who they really are. If they are kind to those around them, are friendly and open minded about others, then they will most likely make a good partner in a relationship but if they shout down their subordinates and are rude to people, it is just a matter of time before that begins to play out with you too.. It is impossible to know all about people but you definitely can find pointers to many facets of their lives. so be on the look out.

Self Control… Self control is everything. It is important that your partner knows when to stop. Boundaries are important in any kind of relationship and if your partner has no boundaries, you may be in for a hard time. A person that drinks till they’re is drunk, can’t stop talking, can’t control their emotions and the likes will most likely fail in any relationship. We all must have limits and be able to consciously work with them or we will make a wreck of our lives. Take anger for example, when they cannot control themselves when they’re angry, one day they will take it out on you and you will not be able to do anything about. I am sure no one wants to be in the path of a wrecking ball. So look out for self control in those you want to allow to have access to your heart.

Accountability… People without convictions are never a good choice for a relationship. More often than not it points to a lack of direction or purpose. How do you come to trust someone who doesn’t have any rules or principles that they stand by? “Anything goes” is always a ticking bomb and you must watch out for people who live like that. When they do not have any particular convictions, are not under any form form of authority and do not have mentors or leaders, you better steer clear or you will pay the price for their reckless lifestyle. It takes a sense of accountability to be honest, responsible and reliable. It is safe to say no relationship survives with direction.

Like I pointed out earlier, there are certainly other things to look out for but I think these are really important as you begin that quest to find the right person. If you look closely, everything you will find up there cannot be noticed on the first date. You will have to get to know the person to find these out. I do not believe in love at first sight. I am sorry but you can be attracted to someone the first time you meet them but you certainly don’t fall in love with them that easily. You have to at least bond which is the first stage in any relationship. Ever wondered why organizations place new staff on probation? Well, there you have it.

Source: Lucky B.

A twitter thread by media personality, Noble Igwe, has sparked off a conversation on Twitter. 

In his Twitter thread, the media personality opined that Igbo women are ”lazy, don’t like working, and just want to sit back and enjoy their husbands’ hard-earned money”. He said unlike Igbo women, Yoruba women are hard-working, build their houses themselves, and do not wait to inherit houses from their fathers.

He went on to advise men saying; ”find you a woman that is ready to work hard with you to leave things equally for your children, not the Igbo woman that is waiting on you to die first so that she can inherit and be called the head of home just by being “ Ori Aku”

His tweet thread reads

The Igbo women are lazy, does not like to work and just want to sit back and enjoy their husband hard earned money. They want to inherit their husband’s property and then inherit from their father’s house as well but do nothing but answer “Ori Aku”

See Yoruba women. Hard working,building houses and not really trying to fight for father’s house in Ibadan. When they want to make changes, they do but Igbo women will come and make it seem like someone is holding them down.

The Yoruba woman is a go getter. Breaking boundaries, doing new things every day and she does not even need a law to back her. Just her belief and living life on her terms. Guess what? They don’t need anybody’s permission.

Everyday you are seeking for permission from your village to thrive in Lagos ? Build a house and inherit it, nobody from your village will come to take it. There’s no culture holding you back from achieving things, why are so in on inheriting something when you can build yours ?

Why is the topic always on inheritance? Can’t you work for your own? You don’t need a husband to inherit . Have you seen Hausa women fighting for inheritance ? No, they go out and build 

No wonder most people think that Igbo women are greedy. The argument can never be how” my Igbo culture stopped me from buying land in Lagos”, it’s always about what to gain from the patriarchy ridden people.

Kings, find you a woman that is ready to work hard with you to leave things equally for your children, not the Igbo woman that is waiting on you to die first so that she can inherit and be called the head of home just by being “ Ori Aku”

Tomorrow, you’d see other women tweet about how their mother willed things to them and how it helped them do better. These tweets don’t come from Igbo women, them and their mothers are waiting for their father to die first.

Ask yourself, what have you done to change the life of the girl child in your community? Is it Igbo men too that are stopping you?

In conclusion, any gender can hold any agenda. While some of our concerns are true, the real change comes from doing and not holding the sins of fathers over all Igbo men. Discuss issues as it relates to particular people, communities, villages and the Igbo land at large.

The Igbo man is flawed, just like every other man but you can’t deny the work that the new generation Igbo man is doing towards changing some of these narratives.” he tweeted

Source: Twitter @ Noble Igwe

Corruption is dishonesty for personal gain, it is moral depravity and it is an undesirable change in the state of affairs of a person, nation, or any entity at all. Corruption, many agree, is cancer that eats away at the fabric of human development, at personal growth, and destroys the whole. Corruption everywhere accounts for poor species of leaders and weakens leadership, be it in the individual, home, organization, or nation. But more exceptionally, corruption has been the bane of leadership, not only in Africa but the world at large; however, this evil has explicitly expressed itself in Nigeria, the most populous black nation on earth and first in Africa.

Nigerians are reveling in the festival of corruption like no other nation on earth today. Both elites and commoners are in full gear celebration of corruption; the commoners drink in the corruption of the elites like they gulp a mixture of herbs sold at the motor parks; the elites dance to corruption from the drum beats of tribal kinsmen and subordinates who applaud their bravery in taking their share of the ‘national pie’, all in the weird festival of corruption that has ceased to have seasons but has become an everyday experience and the very nature and life of this God-forsaken country.

A country where the leaders are the prime movers and inventors of mind-blowing corrupt acts that open the eyes of the blind and unstopped the ears of the deaf. Were the citizens’ wallow in everyday complaints of lack, and lack of the good that ends in the pockets and bank vaults of their leaders. It’s a country where corruption has a name, friends, and address and socializes with the strong and the weak. From the birth of Nigeria, we saw corruption intrude into the nation like an imposter and when nobody resisted him, and when he saw the reception accorded him, he took roots and spread his wings and tentacles over the welcoming nation and today talk of corruption is talk of the town, as even babies nowadays in Nigeria talk corruption because it has denied them the right to a good life, to a well-rounded education, nutrition, health, recreation and the simple good things of life that a nation like Nigeria can more than offer.

Corruption in Nigeria is a pastime indulged by the rich and poor, the leader and the led, the boss and the staff, employer and employee; it occurs in every sphere of Nigeria’s life, the business community, education, healthcare, private and public sectors, entertainment and most egregiously in the almighty government of Nigeria, at the federal, state and local levels of Nigeria’s governing institutions, corruption is the order of the day. Thanks to the multimedia channels that now grace the landscape and the ubiquitous social media that the elite wishes will one day disappear from the social scene of information dissemination, as heinous deeds of corruption committed by the agents of the Nigeria government past and present, are daily uncovered by the ever-vigilant media organs and revealed to a perplexed public.

Ordinary Nigerians, a good 80% of the population, are dump-founded by the daily revelations of the corruption perpetrated by Nigerian government agents in all the strata of government. The mindless corruption perpetrated through money laundry, embezzlement, and looting of public funds, defrauding of government agencies, contract inflation, misappropriation of funds and sheer thieving of Nigeria’s public money for private use rather than the intended public use is shamefully welcome and celebrated by a majority of Nigerians who precariously hang their hopes on the belief that one day their turn shall inevitably come in a ‘turn by turn’ country like ours. Corruption has got Nigerians like fishes cut in an inescapable net, a specter of surreal reality playing live in a 3-D sort.

Nigeria’s corruption isn’t a new thing to Nigerians or the world, everybody knows corruption exists in the world, in other countries corruption is experienced, but nowhere is corruption celebrated as it is in Nigeria. In other nations of the world, the government and peoples make every effort to eliminate corruption, fight and reduce it to the barest minimum to allow for national and individual progress.  But in Nigeria corruption is encouraged and padded for the benefits of the privilege few to have been in government or are connected to those in government and the majority who are unconnected to the corridors of power, unprivileged and have committed the crime of just been Nigerians are doomed to bear the pains, the sufferings, and poverty that corruption brings to a nation neck-deep in corruption.

After twenty years of uninterrupted democratic practice, Nigerians are the worse for it due to the unbridled corruption of Nigerians leaders, the politicians, and government appointees who are public officeholders. The so-called dividends of democracy is a theory sung by democratic governments in place since 1999, because practically if they are any such dividends accruing from the practice of democratic governance, none existed for Nigerians to savor, if indeed such existed, it has all ended in the pockets of our leaders and the wicked set of politicians plying their tricks on Nigerians and not the political trade as it is obtainable elsewhere.

Nigeria and Nigerians have experienced the most brazen acts of wickedness by those entrusted with the leadership of the nation since independence and more so, after the end of military rule and the era of civilian rule ushered in, corruption has waxed bolder, fearless and daring. It’s only in Nigeria you see former corrupt leaders, politicians, or government appointees, who ordinarily should be rotting in jail or in hiding as it is in other climes, make the most noises on the media and accuse existing leadership of corruption. It’s only Nigeria corruption is bold enough to boast of its exploits in the courts with judges and we all applaud the strong. It’s only in Nigeria corruption is celebrated and a festival of sorts. What a country!

Source: Richard Abam